Fluffy bunnies, fluffy bunnies! Hello, boys and girls! Here is a happy hoppy fluffy bunny story for you all, all about that mysterious old codger who travels in time and space (as played by William Hartnell) in his jolly happy merry time-ship Tardis, spreading joy and happiness among all the weird funny people he meets on distant planets! Join us as we journey with Dr Who (as played by William Hartnell) on his new adventure!

Yeah, anyway. As proof that you could make a few quid from bunging out any old tosh if it had Doctor Who on the cover (or “Dr Who”, as was more usual in those days): in the year 1966 it did come to pass that World Distributors issued the mighty and immortal tome, Dr Who (as played by William Hartnell) Sticker Fun Book: Travels in Space.

It was a book and it had stickers in it. You could take the stickers out and stick them on things. The wall, your bed, the dog. Yourself. Whatever. This was fun. Hence “sticker fun book”. I think I’ve got that right.

You could also, if you were so minded, colour in the pictures. I have never met a child or a former child who has ever bothered to complete a colouring book because they are a deeply dull concept. Never mind. Normally, you did the first one and then got bored, so wandered off to see what was on TV. But the stickers, the stickers – they were fun!

To elate yet further the children who had paid good pocket money for this excrescence, the book included a complete, original, untelevised adventure story for the Doctor – sorry, for Dr Who (as played by William Hartnell). As was the norm for World Distributors, it was written by some hack who had never seen the programme.

Yes! As you read it! Because NOW, for the first time in 54 years, you can now enjoy this stunning adventure story for Dr Who (as played by William Hartnell) IN ITS ENTIRETY, as the DWC proudly presents its complete text! With the original illustrations!

Can you wait any longer? Start reading!

Dr Who (as played by William Hartnell) Sticker Fun Book: Travels in Space

During his travels in space Dr Who discovers a strange planet. The Tardis has landed in an area of jungle and swamp, inhabited by giant animals. Dr Who soon finds that these are harmless (1). Join him as he explores the planet…

Everything on the planet is enormous. Even the plants seem overgrown and Dr Who has difficulty in finding a way through them.

He disturbs many large insects on his journey. But everything seems peaceful on this planet. He wondered what kind of people lived here.

He soon found out! Suddenly, from behind plants and rocks, appeared peculiar little men. They had been watching Dr Who for some time, wondering if he was friend or foe.

They told Dr Who all about themselves.

They were called Floramites (2) and they were very happy (3) except when they were disturbed by the mechanical men from the other side of the planet.

Just then the mechanical men appeared.

Having first paralysed them with his ray gun (4), Dr Who talked to them sternly (5). Afterwards they apologised to the Floramites and made friends with them. They weren’t really bad – just mischievous!

Now they all had a wonderful party together; the giant animals joined in too. They were all very grateful to Dr Who for bringing peace to their planet at last.

Dr Who was soon back in his wonderful Tardis, continuing his journey in space and passing many familiar stars and planets on his way.

He was very pleased that he had landed on the mysterious planet. (6)

A commentary on the text:

(1) Note the build up and subsequent understated but effective resolution of tension and suspense in the narrative.

(2) Fluffy bunnies! And yet… note the visual similarity to the Vervoids. Possibly a distant relative and therefore potentially not what they seem.

(3) Oh, they are what they seem. Bless! They’re almost as cute as the Pting!

(4) His WHAAAT?!

(5) Fascinatingly, Hartnell’s Doctor here foreshadows a character trait fully realised in Jodie Whittaker’s incarnation. A jolly good telling off from the Doctor is just what all naughty aliens need! Dear dear dear dear. How very disturbing.

(6) Moniker nicked by Robert Holmes as the working title for Parts 1- 4 of The Trial of a Time Lord. No records exist of any lawsuit by World Distributors for plagiarism.

And that’s that! All you need to know about the Dr Who (as played by William Hartnell) Sticker Fun Book: Travels in Space.

Horrible, isn’t it?

The Dr Who (as played by William Hartnell) Sticker Fun Book: Travels in Space is as rare as Jethrik. If you really want one, you can very occasionally find one on eBay. Around 200 smackers to you, squire. What a bargain!