“The clock on the mantle is broken: it is time. Doctor? Doctor?!”

An iconic line eloquently bellowed into a grandiose fireplace amidst a chorus of screams and panic. You could be forgiven for thinking that The Girl in the Fireplace is just a filler episode, a standard period piece with something spooky weaving itself into the narrative of our planet’s history, an episode that gives Mickey an adventure outside of a London, something fun and Who-y from the wonderful Steven Moffat.

Which it is!

What it also is, however, is one of the best standalone Doctor Who episodes of the modern era that doesn’t rely on established narratives, monsters, or conflicts.

The sets, the scoring, the script, and the sass flood this episode with charm and class, successfully juggling seamless squabbling between a squadron of repair droids, two present-day Londoners, several French aristocrats, and the Doctor without breaking stride on the episodes rhythm: the slow path to catastrophe.

The obvious monsters here were the aforementioned repair droids: clockwork contraptions that had mutilated the crew of their own spaceship to use their ‘parts’ for repairs after sustaining heavy damage. Obviously suffering some damage to their context protocols, the droids believe that they need the 37 year old brain of Madame de Pompadour to finish repairs on their ship, therefore they had to ‘punch a hole through the universe’ several times over with time doorways to 18th Century France. Why? Because they are ‘the same’ as her.

Side note, this is exactly why we should be terrified of AI logic.

Though misguided in their intentions, the clockwork droids were persistent and efficient. The smashing of the clocks, the hiding in plain sight (despite looking terrifying), and the magnificent Murray Gold score all contribute to what makes the clockwork droids such an iconic and convincing antagonist. Like death itself, their dispassionate presence is just function, impossible to reason with and as patient as needs be. Just ticking over, watching, waiting. They rob the Doctor of his words, his most powerful weapon.

Unable to talk his way through to these monsters then, the Doctor ends up having to ride Arthur the horse through a mirror in order to sever the links for the clockwork droids’ time windows and seemingly trap himself in the past with them, essentially robbing them of their function. Great sentence.

Reflecting on his predicament afterwards, we observe a different Doctor. Stranded, resigned to his fate, there is a pace absent from his demeanour now. Throughout the episode, the interactions between Madame de Pompadour and the Doctor have been, for good reason, frantic. Though still able to get a few flirtatious lines in here and there, their relationship has primarily been about unravelling a mystery, survival and protection, but now he sees kinship. He sees time.

Time turns out to be the less obvious monster.

Boooo, lame answer.

I know, but time robs the Doctor of his heart(s), his most vulnerable point.

Explored extensively throughout this season, the Doctor’s ability to wander in and out of people’s lives has lasting effects, ripples that turn to waves left in his wake. ‘The oncoming storm’ will eventually pass but the devastation they leave is often scarring to those it touches. A phenomena most intimately articulated by Madame de Pompadour when she refuses to wish the Doctor good luck as he leaves. She knows ‘you can’t have the Doctor without the monsters’, and now the monsters are gone and the Doctor won’t come back, despite his promises.

I love this episode because not only does it look great, sound great, and feature tremendous performances from everyone involved, but because it leaves you with an emotionally compelling and lasting impression of the Doctor’s profound loneliness.

Also there is a horse called Arthur. Pretty neat.

Have you ever been locked out of your house? It’s an embarrassing experience, yes, but never usually more than inconvenience to your schedule.

Now imagine someone with malicious intentions tricked you into going outside, and now they’re left in your home, barring the door and demanding a fee.

No, you haven’t hit your head and awoken in a classic Simpsons episode: this is the cold reality of ransomware and the horrific humiliation and isolation felt by those that fall victim to it — victims like Rakie Ayola, who Doctor Who fans might recognise from the episode Midnight (2008) playing ‘the stewardess’. Ayola was recently locked out of her Instagram account.

People posing as trusted figures of online authority are constantly trying to nab your details, sometimes through pop-ups or emails, and sometimes they come to you directly through private messages.

Ayola was contacted through her Instagram Direct Messages from an account masquerading as Instagram support.

As many ransomware attempts do, this one came with a link that took Raykie away from the official site and it’s inherent defences to a shell site. It’s a bit like the Great Intelligence tricking people into clicking the malicious Wi-Fi connection in The Bells of Saint John (2013).

The main aim of ransomware is to fool the victim into entering their login details in an unsafe location, a place where these details can be harvested and used against their owner.

After Raykie was locked out of her account, her posts started being deleted and she was subsequently contacted and asked to pay a fee in order to access her account again.

The worst part about ransomware is that there is very little that the companies used in the facade can do to help those in trouble, as they are not affiliated or familiar with the software used to affect their foiled users.

The important thing to remember about ransomware is that you should always check the source.

If an account contacts you, out of the blue, and asks you to click a link that’ll take you somewhere else? Don’t click it.

If you get an email or a text that seems convincing but is unexpected or asks you for your personal information, check the source. You must remain suspicious and vigilant.

It’s easy to make an email or a text look good by using the right buzzwords or images, but if you double check the email address or the phone number on Google, you’ll quickly discover more obvious red flags.

Our advantage, as targets of ransomware, is that we are not the first nor the thousandth person that these scams have attempted to hoodwink; we have the power of supreme scepticism to level at every attempt to gain our details.

Ransomware is the evolution of the original junk mail — it is junk mail that has managed to circumvent our traditional adblockers to try and catch us unaware.

Ayola managed to wrest control of her account back from the hackers, but not before a lengthy process that led the BAFTA winner’s agency into trying every possible avenue to regain control.

It’s worth noting that ransomware can hit anything, not just social media. Your PC is just as big a target, if not more so. That’s why it’s important you keep regular back-ups of your system then unplug that back-up after each update; otherwise, hackers could hit that too, rendering it utterly pointless. If you’re not sure, consult a specialist who can advise on what measures you need to take in order to fight ransomware.

Ayola needed the Instagram account in order to keep up her engagement for various charitable causes, but if you’re a causal user, it’s probably best to change all of your other passwords and consider the account compromised for good. Alert all your friends about what has happened so they’re not tricked by cybercriminals into clicking links sent via the compromised account.

You should try to report the account too, so the relevant companies can take it down, lest your old contacts be used to spread ransomware further afield.

Make a new account and let that old one drag that nasty ransomware out onto the irradiated planes of an uninhabited planet.

But we must always remain vigilant, because though its power withers, it always lies in wait.